Summertime and the living is easy, yet a feeling of imminent dread creeps into your heart as your mind imagines a beach with a beached whale and you are the whale. You make plans for a marathon run into the water and will stay there until it is time to leave. How will you ever remove the layers of clothes to reveal the real expansive you!
It’s hard to change a perceived weakness – sometimes you are fighting genes, years of emotional programming and an environment which tempts you to transgress. The saboteurs at the top of the list are your past failures, poor choices and sour relationships. All these foes don’t give you a minute’s peace. Calm down and ease into yourself. I have a solution which does not require pounding your body into submission in the gym or experiencing deprivation constantly obsessing about food.
It’s much easier to build on a perceived strength. For instance a clinically diagnosed blind person is not going to see no matter how intense the desire, tenacity or the affirmation, “Yes I can!” However, a blind person can work on strengthening his sense of hearing. He can develop “insight” to see things you or I could not fathom. Have you been blind about your uniqueness?
Instead of compressing your bulges, or camouflaging them with a printed shirt, hone your strength. What is truly beautiful or handsome about you? What do people look at when they speak to you - your abs or your fanny? Instead consider the eloquent words that emanate from your lips or the compassion which is benevolently reflected in your starry eyes. Let’s learn from Susan Boyle, the homely, reclusive singer who has soared into our celebrity radar. Perhaps, you wouldn’t want to see her in a bikini, but oh how you melt when she sings. Her voice transports you to sweet sorrow, inspiring you to leave your daily concerns and do better. She is gorgeous when she sings.
Perhaps, you can’t sing like Susan Boyle, but you have your own strength. What is your signature strength? What bubbles up within when no one else is looking? It is so much easier to build on a personal strength, so much more fun than to constantly battle a weakness. Consider some of these attributes:
• I tell it like it is
• I am spontaneous and see the funny side of things
• I’m a great listener
• I get the job done
• I am a great improviser when it comes to fixing things
• I can make anything grow
• I take great photographs
• I am terrific at networking
• I recognize a good venture
• I give great advice
• I throw a fun party
• I make other people feel good
This minute go on a treasure hunt to find the buried treasure in your soul. Stop wishing you looked like someone else because that person might be wishing he or she had your ability. It’s time to stop fighting this losing battle and make peace with your body, your food and your past failures. When you become rigidly fixated, you can’t bend and change – you break. Every time you recognize the pattern where you have fallen into an old, comfortable habit of holding yourself back, substitute a new behavior to propel yourself forward to personal empowerment.
Strengthen the good within yourself. Engage in “creative compensation.” It might take only one quote to brand yourself a genius and contribute to the world by helping others. Let your creativity take shape and sculpt who you are.
Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life, a stress-management specialist, the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City, produces a wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more please visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com.