Have you ever known someone who always seems to get what they want? I’ve known a few people in my life that fit that description and, while I’m not crowing, I have on more than one occasion been tagged as one of those lucky people myself. My sister likes to call it being “spoiled rotten.” My best friend says it’s that “diva-like state of mind” that makes so many things go my way.
But, spoiled rotten, diva-like or not, having spent a good part of my life on the other side of the fence, hardly ever getting anything I wanted, I highly recommend the alternative and, today, I want to share with you one of the best secrets I know for shifting your life into “get what you want” mode, pronto.
Focus More on WHAT and Less on HOW. When my husband and I met, we knew within days that we would someday get married. Three years later, it still hadn’t happened – but it was not for a lack of trying. It was simply that in the process of planning around everyone and everything else, we lost sight of what WE wanted. We spent hours, days, and months trying to map out and choreograph every step. How would we include the kids in the ceremony? Where did our friends fit in? Who would give me away? Where would we have the party afterward?
Dearly Beloved. When it became clear that we would never be able to oblige everyone, we threw in the towel and decided on a private ceremony for two. From that moment on, in what seemed like an almost magical sequence of events, everything began to fall into perfect order. A few weeks later we were married in an elegant ceremony, held in an intimate chapel, aboard a beautiful ship, with our original list of family and friends in attendance, white gown, champagne toast and all. In other words, the minute we let go of all the nitty-gritty details of what everyone else needed, and instead focused all of our attention on what we wanted, everything happened beautifully and effortlessly.
The Power of Desire. Of course, I am not implying that planning isn’t an important element of getting what you want, but when you find yourself longing for something that is slow to arrive, or it feels as though it will never happen, it might be a good idea to examine where you are placing the majority of your attention. Is your main focus on the essence of what you want and how amazing it will feel when it is finally yours, or is your mind constantly aimed at all of the ”Point-A-To-Point-B” mechanics of getting there? As counter intuitive as it might seem, shifting your focus off “how” and placing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions squarely on what you want, has a powerful way of putting you on the expressway to your heart’s desire.
If there is something you really want, but it seems to be taking forever to show up in your life, try taking 10 minutes a day to sit quietly by yourself, without any distractions, and imagine the moment you are waiting for. Feel the excitement of getting what you want, imagine what it looks like, sounds like, smells like, and tastes like, and really be in that moment. Try your best to avoid any resistant thoughts of “but this has to happen first…then this…then this…” Instead simply experience the joy of achieving your ultimate goal, as though you are merely recalling a wonderful memory that has already occurred.
Get back to what you want, let go of how it will arrive (if only for a little while,) and you will be amazed at how quickly it will show up for you, often in ways that are more perfect than you could have ever imagined.
Dianne Orwig is a life coach, motivational speaker, writer, and founder of Love Living Fit, a wellness program of enlightenment and self discovery that has helped thousands of men and women live happier, healthier, more purpose-driven lives. Visit LoveLivingFit.com on the web and on Twitter @LivingFitCoach.